Choosing an Oncologist

When you're told you have cancer, you're thrown into this whole new world where the words "chemo," "cancer," and "treatment" immediately grab your attention and you try to find miracles at every corner. At least for me, that's how I felt. I regularly scan Google news and blogs for new cancer treatments and initiatives. From the start, I needed to find an oncologist I was most comfortable with. The vibes I got from the facility and the staff were also important. We met with three oncologists before finally making a decision.

These were my experiences at each visit:

First Doctor
Pros: Spoke my mother's native tongue and could communicate with her, conducted an exam to see if it had spread to her cervix (thankfully no worries)
Con: Older with more than 20 years experience, but seemed a bit jaded, bluntly said that my mother will have about a year to live, also did not fully explain the chemotherapy he would be using and its side effects
Conclusion: Not good enough for my mom. As my mother noted, "He looks like a farmer." He didn't seem aggressive and was all too brash.

Second Doctor
Pros: Although the doctor was young, he took the time to explain everything and had a nurse print out information about his chemotherapy of choice as well as the first doctor's. He took his time examining my mom and was patient.
Con: None. We almost went with this doctor, until we met with the third doctor.

Third Doctor

Pros: Impressive background (top undergrad and medical school, fellowship at one of the best cancer hospitals in the nation) and very hands on. She was the only doctor who had a computer in her office and actually showed us the CT scans. She also saw that my mother just had the port catheter procedure, but it didn't look right and called the surgeon directly to make sure it was okay. She also was the only one who said that she would get CT scans before the treatment began to "compare apples to apples."

All three doctors had different chemo treatments of choice: FOLFOX, Cisplatin Irinotecan, and EOX. We learned that while they vary in side effects, no doctor can say that one is better than the other. In the end, we - or rather I (as my mother relied on me to make the decision) just had to go with my gut and the doctor I trusted most.