A lesson in anger management

It's so important to be patient as a caregiver but at the same time, it can be easier said than done. Sometimes I literally yell at my mom because she's not eating. Or other times, I'll snap at her, not because she did something wrong, but because of someone or something else that has been building up. I'm ashamed of myself when that happens, but it does. When that happens, my mom tells me she's going to call my brother. On the phone, she tells him, "Your sister is being mean and yelling at me." It makes me think of when my brother and I were kids, and I used to be the one calling my mom. How things have changed.

I think the lowest point was once, I was so angry that I even said I wanted to kill myself. Not because I was going to do it (and I would never), but because I just wanted her to feel how horrible it is to hear someone you love say that. I could never go to that point again. Really, there is no point in getting angry. Be mad at the disease but don't take it out on your loved one because you'll both end up feeling like shit.

Now, when I get angry for whatever reason, I just try to walk away. Even if it feels good to vent at that very moment, you'll feel horrible soon after.

The other day, I wasn't home and my mom said that she would take care of the meals herself. Well, I got home at 9pm and she had not eaten at all. I used to get frustrated and upset and mad, but now I realized, there's no point. No point in reminding her next time she needs to eat only to forget again. I quickly boiled water, made rice and prepared a few dishes. It's up to me to make sure she eats.