O brother....

my mom and bro. his shirt says, "Go to the gym."

I have to admit, I often try to come up with witty titles for each post, and then I pat myself on the back for how clever I perceive myself to be. Anyway, I thought this post title was appropriate because it's about my brother taking care of my mom. For the month of June, he was on break from school (he's studying for his doctorate in physical therapy), and he stayed over from Sunday to Tuesday. Even though it was only two nights each week, his stay gave me a small break in my care giving duties. He brought my mom to her appointments including chemo, doctor visits, and blood work. He took her on walks and spent some good mother and son time. And mentally, it was a relief. I didn't have to worry about my mom being alone if I stepped out of the house. I could remind my brother to cook something instead of me doing it myself. Sometimes people ask me why my brother isn't more involved, but he tries to be as involved as he can. It's just the way things have turned out. He lives in the city which is about an hour away, and between balancing two jobs and school, it's a lot. But my brother does call almost everyday to check up on my mom. Sometimes I do wish I had a consistent partner in this because having my brother here was really helpful. At the same time, I also see how sharing care giving duties can lead to miscommunication, especially if one is much more knowledgeable than the other. For example, my mom has to get Neulasta, an injection that increases your white blood cells, the day after chemo. No if ands or buts about it. That's how the injection is taken. That same week, we decided to move up the scan and after it was done, I told my brother I had rescheduled her appointment another day to see the doctor. My brother unknowingly thought I was talking about the appointment for the injection when I only meant the doctor. As a result, the next day, my brother did not bring my mom to get Neulasta insisting to my mom that it was rescheduled. I then had to stress to him that the Neulasta injection can never be moved to another day. Thankfully, you can get the Neulasta up to 48 hours after your last chemo.

Outside my house where we often take walks

Thought I'd share some funny highlights about my brother's time w/ my mom:

My mom (who is the most un-pc person I know) telling me a conversation he had with my brother.

Mom: You know what your brother asked me when we took a walk?
Me: What did he ask you?
Mom: He asked me if I knew that you and your brother love and care about me very much.
Me: Oh really?
Mom: Yes. (pause for dramatic effect) Do you think your brother is retarded?
Me: haha. Is that what you said?
Mom: No. I said yes, but I was thinking, "Is my son retarded?"

My bro showed mom some exercises on the playground equipment.

 My brother and I taking my mom out for a walk/ exercise.

He points to a lamp post and tells me to go over there. With my mom standing next to my brother and me in the opposite direction, he then proceeds to instruct my mom to sprint to me as fast as possible. We are supposed to go back and forth like a relay race. As soon as my mom comes to me, I sprint to my brother who then sprints to my mom, who then sprints to me, and so on.

It's time to start and my mom looks at my brother as though he's delusional. But he's serious and he screams, "RUN!!" "FAST!!" "GO!!!" "RUN!!!!!" To my surprise, she starts moving. My mom begrudgingly waves her arms in a running motion and tries to get over to me as quickly as possible with an ever present scowl on her face. Kodak moment.

Taxotere #2 and My Mom's New Hair

I was dreading my mom's second round of Taxotere since the first made her feel miserable. She felt like she had the flu and experienced extreme fatigue. She was out of breadth just sitting up. All her hair has pretty much fallen off, which makes her depressed and confirms that she's sick. When you look normal or like everyone else, you can sometimes forget about the disease, but when it's staring at you in the face, it's weighs heavy in the heart. My mom gets tired of dealing with this disease and I sometimes am at a loss of comforting words to say, so I just give her a hug. For the second round of Taxotere, the nurse informed us that she would be getting Neulasta the day after to boost her white blood cell count. Neulasta can cause some unpleasant side effects like bone achiness and headaches. To combat those side effects, I had my mom take Claritan-D before, day of, and a few days after the Neulasta injection. (Side note- Claritan-D is now only available behind the counter at the pharmacy, because apparently, people have been purchasing it to produce meth). She did not feel well after Taxotere and Neulasta, but the side effects were not as bad as the first. Instead of diarrhea, she was constipated. Instead of being tired to the point of not getting out of bed, she was tired but able to manage. I hate this poison, but I'll love it if it does its job.

Without her hair, I know my mom feels different when all she wants is to just fit in. She had two wigs that she wore regularly, but one did not fit her normal hair style and the other, as my mom put it, looked like dried grass piled on top of her head. It was stiff and did not have any natural bounce to it. So I decided to splurge and get her a wig that I felt would be the most natural looking and comfortable. I went to Voguewigs.com and I found their prices to be reasonable - not super cheap, but not crazy expensive. I purchased the Allure Monofilament Wig by Jon Renau (#6 dark brown color). I think I love it more than my mom does, though I refused to tell her how much I paid for it. Mono Tops (the reason for it being more $$$) give the appearance of actual hair growth straight out of the scalp. Every hair in the monofilament top is individually hand-tied, one strand at a time. Each hair can move and swivel freely, just as hair moves when growing from a follicle. These type of wigs can be styled and parted in any direction, just like natural hair and it's also lighter.

Drum Roll please...

Mom wearing Allure Monofilament Synthetic Wig by Jon Renau

I was super nervous about the purchase because you can't return it if it's opened, and well, how can you tell it looks good if you can't open it? I was going to sell it on ebay if my mom didn't like it. But the wig arrived and Mama Lee approves, though it's a little fuller in the front than she's used to. Also, because it's so thin, my mom says wearing in during windy cold weather makes her head feel cold. I personally think you can't even tell it's a wig, but maybe I'm biased. I hope my mom won't feel self-conscious anymore because she's lovely, inside and out.

TIP: I have found that a wine gift bag makes for a great wig holder. You need something long and narrow so it doesn't stretch out. Place something heavy like a candle inside the bag so it doesn't fall and just hang the wig over the bag. Works perfect.