My mom's favorite pics

My mom had a unique and funny sense of humor. Through it all, she always found something funny to say. Above are two pics that always made her laugh...my brother's sixth grade student picture, looking like a panda, and me, looking like a child of the third world (even though it was actually taken in San Francisco). My mom loved how round his face was with cheeks screaming to be pinched... that is how my my brother got the nickname "Fatboy" or "Fat" for short. And me, well, she took great pride in having taken the picture, after later realizing that I could easily be in one of those "For a dollar a day" poverty ads.

How does it feel?

For a while, it's been hard to put into words, but I think I know now. When my mom made a turn for the worst, it was like a dagger entered my heart, and as she declined, the dagger twisted and jerked it's way through.

Deep sadness, grief, and despair poured through my veins. Day after day, we mustered as much self-control as we could to stay strong and brave.

Then, in a single instant, she was gone. I was mentally and physically drained. I don't have anything left.

(My feeling when people say I'm handling this so well)