Sweeping of the Graves/ Qingming

Every year, Chinese families visit graves of their loved ones to pay respects. (Read more about this tradition here on wiki). With both my grandmothers and my father no longer with us, today's schedule comprised of three stops to three different cemeteries, one in Vallhalla, NY (dad's mom) with sloping hills and a lake nearby, and two in Linden, NJ (dad and maternal grandmother) with the lovely backdrop of industrial factories and the busy Rt 1 intersection. Cemetery workers anticipate this day, having extra people on hand to direct one way streets and preparing for extra clean up duty. In the cemetery where my paternal grandma is buried, there's a rather large Chinese section. People were carrying bag fulls of items to offer: flowers, paper money, roast pork, a whole chicken, wine, etc. According to my cousin Tracy, "Chinese people take the dead very seriously." And it is very true, especially from what we experienced this morning buying the traditional foods  to bring to the visit. My mom instructed my brother to buy three orders of roast pork with bone and white sugar and brown sugar cake. Even at 8am in Chinatown, there was a line out the door at Fong Inn Too, and at the restaurant, the cashier asked if my brother had "reserved" the pork order the night before. So, the morning started off with a bit of a delay.

As I looked around the cemetery, there were families huddled around a grave. One large family had an entire roast pig on a table (in fact, at every cemetery, we seemed to always find one pig). And about 30 minutes later, you heard the sound of butcher knife slamming against the chopping board. It's kind of a funny sight- people gathered around a grave stone having a pseudo-picnic, but I like how there's a holiday devoted to remembering your loved ones.  Many had very impressive spreads with paper money, more food, and fancier incense. We, on the other hand, had a small spread...some oranges, pastries, and an order of roast pork.

Just by chance, about 20 minutes after we arrived, I saw my cousins and my uncle and aunt heading over to where we were. This was completely unplanned and a nice surprise that they came around the same time we did. My aunt brought out paper money and paper cell phones and watches and paper goodies which we burned. I'd like to think that my grandma was up there and gifts of jewelry, money, and clothes are just shooting into the heavens.

We then headed to New Jersey and did the offerings two times over for my other grandma and my dad. My mom forgot to bring flowers to plant, but as luck would have it, the perennials planted last year we in full bloom.

After that, we just headed home. My mom wanted to make sure we did this sooner than later since her hair has been falling out. She's just let it fall so I kept a lint brush handy. She has a bald spot in the back of her head but just covered it by wearing a hoodie.  On Thursday, it'll be chemo #2.