It's not that Chinese people don't love each other. It's because in our culture, it doesn't need to be spoken. It's goes with being a family. I told my mom not too long ago that if anything were to happen, I would never fight with my brother over money or pettiness. My mom responded, "That's right, because you will have each other." She then said, "And if anything were to happen, I would kill you." (lmao).
Since my mom was diagnosed, I remind my mom about how much I care about her like it's second nature. And she does the same. But we always say "I love you" in English. Even though it's understood. I can never show express too much love for my mom. And it's just not words. My mom and I hold each others' hands when we take walks. Or she clings to my arm if she needs support. When I'm driving, she reaches her hand out for me to hold (yes very unsafe I know, but I let go during the turns, etc). Or I put my hand on her knee. Holding my mom's hand is our symbol of love and compassion. When I get mad and visibly upset because she didn't eat like I asked her to, she just looks up at me and opens her palm and asks for my hand. It's a sign of love, but also a sign of forgiveness. When she gets chemo, I give her foot massages. I remember a lady next to my mom remarked about how comfortable it looked and her husband glanced up and said, "No way" (like, "don't even think about asking me").
Sometimes my mom just needs my company.
A few months ago, I was at a bridal shower and my mom asked if I could hurry home. I did and asked what was the matter. Then she said, looking sad and upset, "I just want you to sit next to me." So I gave her a hug and did just that. As we watched TV, she rested her head on my shoulder. My mom also likes placing a pillow and laying her head on my lap. She falls asleep pretty easily that way. And I hold her hand or gently stroke her arm. She lays on my lap until my legs fall asleep and I tell her it's time to go to bed.
stage 4 stomach cancer blog
I do not know you, but I have been reading your blog for a long time - I don't remember how I found it. I just want you to know your blog is beautiful. So much love and caring. I'm sorry you and your mother are going through all this. Both of you will stay in my pryaers and I send you all my best wishes.
ReplyDeleteK
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers.
DeleteLana, thank you for sharing. So touching. I cried.
ReplyDeleteLana, it's so similar to my family, growing up and not saying "I love you." My heart beamed with joy reading about how affectionate and loving your relationship is with your mom. Presently, my family still doesn't say those three little words even though we know we love each other.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I rarely say I love you to my parents and siblings. My dad and I only said it once when I was in Singapore for work. My mom said it in her letters to me but not personally, so I love you for me has been one of the toughest word I could ever imagine. My stomach cancer alternative treatment center colleagues has the same problems as well with their families, they rarely say it really.
ReplyDeleteI started on COPD Herbal treatment from Ultimate Life Clinic, the treatment worked incredibly for my lungs condition. I used the herbal treatment for almost 4 months, it reversed my COPD. My severe shortness of breath, dry cough, chest tightness gradually disappeared. Reach Ultimate Life Clinic via their WEBSITE www.ultimatelifeclinic.com . I can breath much better and It feels comfortable!
ReplyDeleteCASINO PRAGMATIC PLAY ONLINE FREE CASINO
ReplyDeleteEnjoy over 200 of the hottest casino slots 슈어 벳 주소 & table games mgm바카라작업 with over 블랙 잭 1200 of the hottest table 여수 op 사이트 games 무료슬롯머신 from popular game providers including Evolution Gaming.